Such intimate discussions normally take place behind closed doors. But tonight, TV viewers across India hang on every word. “Kahin Naa Kahin Koi Hai” (“There’s Someone, Somewhere Made for You”) has turned India’s tradition of arranged marriages into a game show–the latest attempt to cash in on reality TV, which has thus far failed to take off in the land of Bollywood. Cable channel AXN screened “Survivor” earlier this year, but the show bombed with viewers alarmed by its ruthlessness. “Temptation Island” was hastily pulled after it provoked outrage over the wanton sexual antics of young couples. An Indian version of “Weakest Link,” the wildly popular quiz show, drew hate mail for its cruel emcee. Only “Kaun Banega Crorepati,” the Indian version of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire,” has been a runaway ratings success.
Producers hope “Kahin Naa Kahin Koi Hai” will follow in “Millionaire’s” footsteps. The show, hosted by eclipsed Bollywood megastar Madhuri Dixit, who sings over opening credits as dancers gyrate behind her, trades on one of India’s most enduring traditions. In urban areas, half of couples are still matched by their families; in the villages, the share is far higher. “Indians are so reclusive I didn’t know if it would work,” says the show’s creative director, Zarina Mehta. “But on camera they’re totally honest. They discuss everything–dowry, whatever. We’ve broken many taboos.”
In a nod to modernity, the show allows female contestants to choose from several men, rather than the other way around. (Producers felt audiences wouldn’t react well to women being rejected.) From detailed dossiers describing each of eight possible matches, the woman chooses three contestants to appear with her on TV. Over the course of three prime-time 30-minute shows, she and her parents whittle down the field to one. Then the couple decides–on camera–if they want to marry.
Behind the scenes, the show’s staff works hard to ensure a match. Researchers grill contestants, who are found through matrimonial agencies or newspaper classifieds. Everything is detailed: from physical appearance, family background and personality to expectations on religion, caste, class, occupation and horoscope–even a compulsory AIDS test.
Still, not every show ends in conjugal bliss. Of 11 women on the 44-episode run, which was taped last year but airs through October, six have married or are about to. “It’s not just a bit of fun like ‘Who Wants to Marry a [Multi]Millionaire’,” says Shishir Vadhavkar, 28, one of those who married. “It’s all handled sensitively and seriously. It’s Indianized.”
The show reflects the evolution in arranged-marriage rituals, especially in cities. Once prospective couples wouldn’t have met before marriage. Now they commonly chat under their families’ watchful gaze. These kind of liberalizations may account for why the tradition remains popular, despite radical changes in dating and sexual habits among urban youth. Even college-educated young people who have had partners and whose parents would sanction “love marriages” increasingly turn to families to fix matches, either because they were unable to find someone on their own or because they prefer to rely on their parents’ judgment. “It combines romance with the sacredness and power of the family,” says Shiv Vishwanthan, a social anthropologist at Delhi’s Center for the Study of Developing Societies. “Our big traditional institutions survive in creative ways by adapting.”
For Wagh’s strict parents, too, going on the show meant moving with the times. Before the filming, they would never have allowed her to be alone with Deshpande. But during the taping, the couple was given hours to wander off-set together. By the fourth episode, Wagh was smitten. But would Deshpande accept? After a brief discussion, the couple emerged from the lavish set’s palatial archways lit with soft-focus oil lamps. Dixit, the host, asked if they’d come to a decision, and the grinning couple said, “Yes.” Their delighted families gathered around, music swelled and petals cascaded to the floor. “I was a bit hesitant because things were moving so fast,” Deshpande told NEWSWEEK. “But I surprised myself. I never dreamed I’d get married on a television show.” As far as he’s concerned, he’s hit the jackpot.
